The Years Before
by Rainkissed Dahlia
Summary: Why is Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, so cold? Has he always been this way? This story revolves around a young Sesshomaru and a dear childhood friend, who became the one that got away.
1. Meeting

**Sesshomaru's thoughts**

_Kagome's thoughts_

"Sesshomaru, would you like to go hunting?" Lord Inutaisho asked. Young Sesshomaru looked up from the book he was reading, glad to have something else to do. He gave one sharp nod. "Very well then. Come son." They walked out of the front gates of the castle and into the woods. They continued deep into the forest for twenty minutes before they finally stopped. "Sesshomaru, I don't want you to think about what you want to catch. I want you to follow your instincts and just let it come to you. Understand?" "Yes, father." "Whenever you're ready." his father smiled.

He never understood what his father smiled about. Was there truly anything in life to be joyful about? Humans with their petty grudges and war, famine spreading through the East, and demons slaughtering innocent people, this is what the world had come to. He couldn't think of one person that got the privilege to be happy at this time. Except for his father. He would make sure to ask him why later. Sesshomaru's eyes grew red and his claws and fangs sharpened and lengthened. He sampled the fresh air. Blood. This should be fun. He smiled evilly as he jetted off into the thick forest, following the sweet scent of vanilla and rain-kissed violets mixed with blood. Soon he found the source of the magnificent scent and reared back his hand, bringing it down upon- "Stop Sesshomaru." his father warned, grabbing his wrist to prevent him from getting at his prey. Sesshomaru took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again they had returned back to his curious amber. "Father?" His father was gazing down at the base of the tall tree and had a grim look on his face. Sesshomaru followed his gaze. He raised an eyebrow.

Lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood was a girl-just a little younger than him- with waist-length black hair. She was wearing a shredded black kimono that contrasted with her scarred porcelain skin. Sesshomaru sniffed the air. "Father, she is a half-demon." His father nodded. Lord Inutaisho bent and gently tugged at her arm. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she held out her hand. "Don't touch me!" she yelled in a weak voice. Her palm lit up purple and his father was knocked through four trees before crashing into a fifth. He seemed to be unconscious. Her breathing became labored and her hand fell limp by her side. **She has no energy left to deal with me. Or does she not see me as a threat?** The thought oddly relaxed him as he knelt down in front of her. "What's your name?" he asked quietly, not one for speaking overly loud. She looked at him with vibrant, light blue eyes filled with pain. Yet you wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at her face. "I am-" he began. "Sesshomaru." she said so quiet, had he been a human he wouldn't have heard it. He nodded. **Now what?** "I can get you help, if you'll let me." he eventually said, looking away. Her eyes rested on his face for a moment before she nodded. He slowly crept forward so that he was in arms reach of her. He gently helped her onto his back, making sure not to touch hers. He had learned that long, bloody, jagged gashes ran down her back, most likely caused by a demon. He walked over to his unconscious father and nudged him with his foot. "Father." He stirred. Lord Inutaisho looked up with a surprised look on his face when he noticed the young girl. Then he smiled. "Well, you sure can pack a punch." he laughed.

Quickly they made their way back to the castle. Along the way, Sesshomaru could feel the girl slowly relax against him until she had fallen asleep. Once they had gotten back to castle, Sesshomaru found himself not wanting to part with the injured girl. He followed his father back to his study. "Sesshomaru, your back is covered in her blood, perhaps you should change." his father said. He nodded and then asked almost silently, "Father, what are you going to do with that girl?" "Hmm, I guess take care of her until we can find her parents." Sesshomaru nodded once again and turned to leave. He pushed open the door and paused without turning around. "Father, what makes you happy? I see nothing to be happy about when you have to do paperwork all day and listen to complaints and go to the other lands to negotiate with the other Lords." His father looked up from his desk. He thoughtfully tapped his chin with his index finger. "Well, your mother makes me happy. Her love keeps me going. And you. I may not tell you enough but you really do make me proud. My love for you two is what makes me happy." Sesshomaru walked out without saying anything.** Love?**


	2. Curiousity

Kagome slowly opened her tired eyes and looked around. She was now in a big room with royal blue walls with stars painted on the ceiling and a mirror in the corner. A large window faced the south, giving view to a large, beautiful garden covered in all sorts of flowers. She gazed out the window for a moment before trying to sit up. She winced slightly at the sharp pain that shot through her back. She slid back down into the giant pillows and silky blankets with a quiet sigh. A moment later, the door slowly creaked open a crack, the sudden harsh light burning her eyes.

"Oh, you're awake." a sweet voice said. The door widened more, revealing a short, stout woman with chestnut colored hair and matching eyes. She smiled as she sat the tray she had been carrying down at the foot of the bed. She quickly walked back to the door and shut it seeing Kagome's squinted eyes.

"My name is Kanade. I'm one of the healers here." _Where's "here"?_ I brought you a little of everything since I'm not really sure what you like." she fumbled with the plates. "First off, would you like some water?" Kagome shook her head. "What about some tea?" another shake. "Any of this look appetizing?" Kagome quickly surveyed the tray, not seeing the item she craved the most. Kagome shook her head and sighed inaudibly. "Child, you really should try to eat something." Kanade coaxed. Kagome rested her head on the fluffy pillow and turned her head away from the woman, towards the window. The woman sighed. "Very well then. I'll come back later to see if you've changed your mind. Try to get some rest." she said as she picked up the tray and left. Kagome stared out the window once again, longing to sit in the small pond she could see from there.

_My body, it's burning._

She had just started dozing off when she heard a slight shuffling to her right. She turned her head away from the window and looked up. She could see curious amber eyes burning through the darkness. _Sesshomaru?_ She closed her eyes once more. "What is your name?" he asked quietly once again. His voice echoed through the silence._ He seems kind enough. I don't think he'll hurt me if he finds out what I am, but…maybe I can skip that part…_ "Ka-go-me." she sounded out in a sing-song voice. She took a deep breath, though it didn't help. She just couldn't seem to catch her breath. _I need it…soon._

He slightly tilted his head to the right, a confused look crossing his face. "What are you, Ka-go-me?" he asked. Her eyes snapped open. Her breathing quickened. _Oh no.._ Before she could reply, the door opened once again. Lord Inutaisho walked in, surprised to see Sesshomaru there too. "Sesshomaru, what are you doing in here?" "I wanted to find out her name." he replied innocently. His father raised an eyebrow. "It's Kagome." he said quietly. Lord Inutaisho smiled. "Well Kagome, looks like you'll need some food pretty soon, considering your condition. So which would you prefer: human or animal?" She was shocked. He knows what I am? "Father, what are you-" "Human." Kagome shyly said. Sesshomaru looked at them both with a confused look on his face. "I can't really take you hunting for humans…what if I found you a donor?" She nodded once and looked longingly out of the window. "Come Sesshomaru, let her sleep." Sesshomaru spared her one last glance before leaving with his father.


	3. Burning

Kagome tightly squeezed her eyes shut and took a few shallow breaths. _The burning, it just won't subside._ Lord Inutaisho had promised to find her a donor, but where was he now? It had been just a few minutes since he had said that, yet it felt like a lifetime to her. And how had he known what she was?

She opened her eyes and silently pushed the silky blankets away from her burning body. Kagome slowly rested her feet on the cool marble floor and gazed out the window. An interesting scent was blowing in on the slight breeze through the large window and was tickling her nose. She wanted to find the source.

Before she knew it, she found herself standing before the open window gazing down at the large garden. The closer she got to it, the more the burning inside of her intensified. Kagome looked up at the large tree located in the center of the garden and saw Sesshomaru standing in it, gazing at the full moon. Her pupils slightly dilated as the wind changed direction, strengthening the scent. She slowly climbed on to the windowsill and jumped silently to the ground, the shock of the impact sending slight pain through her back. Kagome's breathing quickened as she neared the tree. She stopped. Sesshomaru turned and looked down at her, his face an emotionless mask but his eyes portraying worry. "Kagome?" he asked as he jumped down from the branch he was standing on. He couldn't see her eyes because of the wind blowing her hair to cover them. She took a shallow breath. "Grass. Morning dew. Citrus." she whispered. "What?" she took a step closer. "Your scent…" she whispered again as she took another step towards him. She was in arms reach of him now. "Kagome?" he could smell blood now. He studied her face and noticed two milky white fangs poking into her lip, causing it to turn red with blood. **Retractable fangs? What is she?** Her breathing became harsh and seemed to echo all around him.

Suddenly, Sesshomaru heard loud footsteps approaching fast. He gazed passed Kagome's shoulder and saw his father and a castle soldier running towards them. "Sesshomaru, move away from her!" his father yelled. "What? Why-" but before he could finish, Kagome grabbed him and pulled him close to her. A slight blush covered his cheeks. Her nose was tickling the base of his throat as she sniffed him. Her nose slowly trailed up to the side of his neck, a few inches under his ear. "Kagome, what are you-" Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his neck that was soon replaced by a warm, tingly feeling. "Sesshomaru!"


	4. Vampires

Everything seemed to fade away as the warm tingly feeling engulfed him. Sesshomaru couldn't see anything. He was just…floating. The thought of being blind and vulnerable frightened him, but only for an instant. He felt like someone was there, watching to make sure nothing happened.

He was just getting used to the feeling of floating when suddenly he was falling. Falling through the darkness until a harsh light engulfed everything. His eyes snapped open. "Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru?" his father shook him gently. Sesshomaru sat up and looked around. He was back at the castle, in the garden. The full moon shined brightly against his pale face. He gazed down at his white kimono, which was now stained with a little of his blood. He raised his hand to his neck and his eyes widened when he felt two little holes in his neck. "What happened?" he asked curiously. His father looked at him worriedly.

Sesshomaru looked for Kagome and found her standing a few yards away. Her head was bowed so her eyes were covered once again. Her fists were balled into tight fists at her sides and the front of her kimono was stained in more of his blood as well has her lips. The castle guard from before was kneeling in front of her and had his hand on her shoulder, murmuring something to her. The guard stood and walked over to Sesshomaru. He grabbed Sesshomaru's wrist and sniffed. "She didn't take much blood. Certainly not enough to hurt you." Sesshomaru was utterly confused and it aggravated him. The guard gave him a look full of pity. "I bet you're really confused. I'll try to explain the best I can." he took a deep breath. "First off, my name is Natsume. You see, Kagome needs blood in order to survive. If she doesn't get it when she needs it, her demon side takes control in order for her to survive. I'm guessing she hasn't fed in a few weeks and was already thirsty when you found her. Being injured made her thirst worse due to the fact that blood can help her heal faster. Plus, when Kagome gets thirsty, her body starts to feel like it's burning from lack of oxygen and her breathing becomes quick and shallow. Her species has a type of blood that naturally doesn't come with enough oxygen in their blood and that's why they drink other's. But Kagome- being a half-demon- can go longer without blood than other's of her kind." "How do you know so much about her?" Sesshomaru asked. "Because I'm of the same species. We're the only two left." he said sadly. "And what species would that be?" Sesshomaru asked almost inaudibly. Natsume smiled. "Vampires."


	5. Alone

Kagome tried to take slow, even breaths even though she knew they were all watching her warily, as if she was a leper. She harshly gritted her teeth. _How could I have let myself slip? I'm so weak…_ Kagome backed up slowly. "I'm sorry." she whispered quietly, shaking her head. She turned and ran towards an exit from the garden, not caring where she was headed. _Please, anywhere but here…_ Suddenly she hit something, which let out a soft "oomph!" and steadied Kagome from falling. She looked up. A medium-height woman with long, white hair and kind, violet eyes smiled. "So you're the little girl my son brought home." Kagome looked down. She could sense the group of men debating how to tell the woman about her feral attack on Sesshomaru. "Uh, mother-" Sesshomaru began. _This is his mother? Oh no…_ "Hush up, Sesshomaru. I'm talking to a beautiful young lady. Can't you see that?" the woman smiled once more. "Oh, you've opened your wounds again." the Lady of the Western Lands said grimly. Suddenly her face lit up. "How about you come with me and we'll get you bathed and fit you for one of my old kimonos?" another bright smile. Sesshomaru's mother quickly held a hand out, causing Kagome to flinch. When she realized that the Lady wasn't going to strike her she stared at her hand. All of the men's mouth's were gaping as Kagome slowly and gingerly took the woman's outstretched hand. It had been awhile since Kagome had felt the gentle touch of a loving mother and she now realized she craved it. The Lady had started pulling her into the hall when she suddenly turned around. "Inutaisho, can you please get our son cleaned up? He really shouldn't be covered in blood like that. Honestly, what would the other royals think?" she shook her head. The men's mouths gaped open even wider as the two ladies walked away.

The woman-who Kagome now knew was named Inukimi- lightly sponged her injured back as she sat in the warm hot spring located next to Inukimi's room. She sat lightly on Inukimi's bare knees and leaned slightly forward so that her back was more at ease. Her long black hair spilled over her shoulder and into the swirling water. Kagome watched the bubbles with suppressed emotion.

"Oh poor girl. What happened?" Inukimi asked curiously. Kagome didn't answer. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it just yet. But I bet you'd feel better if you did later." Inukimi smiled as she started rinsing Kagome's hair. "I'm afraid those jagged gashes are going to leave angry scars on your back." she said sadly. Kagome stared ahead unblinking. They lapsed into silence. "I'll be right back, I'll go get us some towels. Would you like to soak for another moment or two?" Kagome nodded once as Inukimi rose from the water gracefully and stepped out. Kagome sank down into the water and closed her eyes as an ugly memory engulfed her.

Flashback

"Kagome, run!" her mother screamed as she pulled out a bow and single arrow. "Momma!" Kagome yelled. "Please, Kagome." her mother pleaded as more screams filled the air. "Kagome run, and don't look back!" Kagome turned and ran as fast as she could as her mother notched the arrow and aimed it at her father. Tears streamed down Kagome's face as she made her fatal mistake. She looked back. Kagome tripped and fell face first into the grass and screamed as huge, sharp claws raked across her back. Suddenly they stopped as the sky erupted in bright purple light. Kagome turned her head. Human bodies lay everywhere. Everything was devoid of life, except for her. Her parents were nowhere in sight. She was alone.

Kagome choked on the water as she came back above the surface, a tear silently mixing with the streams of water that cascaded down from her hair. "Are you okay, Kagome?" Inukimi asked. She nodded and rose from the water, her back screaming in protest. A warm towel was wrapped around her and she was lead into the room beside the springs. "This is my room." she smiled.

Kagome stared in awe at the large room. The walls were painted midnight blue with a bright crescent moon on the ceiling. A large mirror rested in the corner and the biggest bed Kagome had ever seen rested against the far wall, facing the huge balcony that overlooked the expansive garden. A large wardrobe sat next to the mirror along with a small trunk. "Actually, it's our room." A voice boomed from the bed. Lord Inutaisho sat up and smiled at them.

"Sorry dear, were you sleeping?" "Not at all." he laughed. "Okay then. Well if you'll just go out on the balcony so us girls can change, that would be wonderful." Inukimi smiled. "It's not like you've ever been shy in front of me before-" "Inu! Not in front of Kagome!" He laughed as he went and stood out on the balcony, staring out at the rising sun.

Inukimi started rooting around in the trunk and soon found something, adding a little "Aha!" for effect. "Considering we are going to have visitors tomorrow, er, today actually, how about something nice?" she smiled. "Close your eyes, I want it to be a surprise!" Kagome followed her orders. "This was mine when I was younger. I've kept it all these years just in case I had a daughter, but I gave birth to Sesshomaru instead. Which was one of the happiest days of my life. He brings so much joy into this place, though he doesn't realize it. Him and Inu are attached at the hip, so he doesn't really tell me everything that he's feeling or thinking. But what can you do?" Inukimi paused as she helped a blind Kagome into the kimono. "Listen to me ramble on about our family! What about yours? Do you know where your parents are Kagome?" Kagome's breathing hitched. "Kagome?"

She supposed she had to say it at some point. _But it still hurts…_ "They're dead." Kagome said emotionlessly as Inukimi accidentally tightened the obi around her waste too tightly upon hearing this. "Oh, sorry." she said quietly as she loosened it. Inukimi lapsed into silence as she gently brushed Kagome's hair. "Done." she said quietly. She steered Kagome towards a mirror and allowed her to open her eyes. Kagome's eyes slowly opened, not expecting much. She silently gasped as she gazed at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a royal blue kimono that stopped mid-thigh, revealing her pale skin. It had snow white swirls on the sleeves and bottom of the kimono and a snow white obi to go with it. Inukimi gently placed a matching blue headband into Kagome's hair and gave her a sad smile as a knock on the door tore her attention away.

Inukimi walked to the door and opened it, revealing a cleaned up Sesshomaru. "Ah, Sesshomaru. You look better." she said, suddenly looking tired. "Absolutely beautiful!" Lord Inutaisho smiled as he walked in from the balcony. "Sesshomaru, could you show Kagome around please? I've got to get dressed and talk to your father." Sesshomaru slowly nodded as he studied Kagome inconspicuously.

The royal blue kimono contrasted with her scarred porcelain skin, but in a good way. It showed off her legs and the slight curves of her hips. Her wavy, black hair cascaded down her shoulders and back and ended just around her waist. He looked away. The door closed behind them as they silently walked down the long hallway, both avoiding each other's gaze. _Might as well do it now._ She sighed. "I'm sorry." she said quietly once more. He looked over at her, amber eyes meeting bright blue ones. "I lost control. I'm sorry." he shook his head. "You didn't get enough, did you? You pulled away…" he said, just as quiet. She looked away. "No, I didn't." He stopped walking. "It's okay. I'm not mad." "I kind of wish you would be. Hatred is much easier to deal with than niceness." **Has she been around so much hatred that she's been accustomed to it?** He looked at her questioningly. She noticed his look and looked away, annoyed. "Do not pity me." And for the first time, he laughed. Kagome looked up at him questioningly. He met her gaze head on and smiled a genuine smile. "Let's be friends, Ka-go-me." "Friends?"


	6. Rain

"Friends?" Sesshomaru nodded. Suddenly a deep, booming laugh sounded behind them. "Sesshomaru, it's nice to see you again! However I cannot sit back and watch as you make friends with a...half-demon." Kagome and Sesshomaru whipped around and came face to face with a tall man with tan skin and long black hair that was braided down his back. "Lord Ikkoku." Sesshomaru said as he bowed respectively. Kagome turned back around and started walking away. He stood and look at her in disbelief. "Uh, Kagome. Please do not be disrespectful-" "Oh, don't worry about it Sesshomaru-sama! Humans do not know our customs-nor do they have manners- so it is rude to assume half-demons could even comprehend simple respective gestures." Lord Ikkoku laughed. "But-" "No, no. He's right." Kagome stopped walking, yet hadn't turned around. "Half-demons just wouldn't understand." She turned, folded her hands in front of her and bowed her head to him. "Sorry for the intrusion." She whipped back around and quickly disappeared out of sight.

* * *

Kagome was lying on the soft grass of a small clearing she had found in the forest where she had met Sesshomaru. She gazed up at the pale, cloudy sky as a small clap of thunder penetrated her thoughts. "It's going to rain." she whispered to no one. She softly smiled. _Rain..._

Flashback

"Kagome-chan! Let's go play!" a warm voice called from outside of the small hut she dwelled in. "Mother, it is raining. You'll catch a cold." Kagome reasoned as she gazed outside at her mother, dripping, yet smiling widely. "I'm not coming in until you play with me." her mother pouted. _She's actually pouting. At me. _She sighed. "We couldn't wait until it stops raining?" Her mother laughed and spread her arms wide, raising her head to the sky. "Kagome-chan, the rain is refreshing. And although you have to weather the storm, the quiet peace that follows is worth it..."

End Flashback

Kagome opened her eyes as the rain slowly fell, slowly at first, and then in sheets. She smirked and stared blankly into the darkening sky. "I've handled this much, haven't I? What else do you plan on throwing at me?" "-gome." "Kagome?" She snapped back to reality. Someone was calling her. Suddenly the bushes to her right started rustling. She turned her head and watched blankly, waiting for whatever was going to pop out. _So, is this what you're throwing at me? _Sesshomaru rushed out, soaking and panting. "Kagome!" he huffed. Her eyes widened. _Why. Why? _"Kagome, it's raining. You'll catch a cold." Her eyes widened even more as she slowly sat up. "Why're you look at me like that?" he asked. She looked up to the sky with a small smile. "You're soaking wet." she said quietly. "Yeah, I guess. But you have been out her much longer than I have. Let's go dry off!" Sesshomaru urged as he reached his hand down to her. Without removing her gaze from the gray sky she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the ground next to her. Shocked, he stared at her. "The rain is refreshing..."

**Sorry it took me sooo long to update. School, ya know? I'll try to post another tomorrow, since it's Friday! (sorry it's sooo short)**


	7. Return

"Where have you been Sesshomaru?! The royals have already left, save Lord Ikkoku. Where are your manners? How could you leave guests in your own home?!" Sesshomaru smiled awkwardly and kept his gaze downward as water dripped off of him and Kagome and onto the marble floor. "I was..." "You were what?" his mother asked, crossing her arms impatiently. He didn't answer. Inukimi waved her hand dismissively. "What are we going to do with you." she mumbled as she and his father walked away. "Why." Kagome asked quietly, her bright blue eyes boaring into him questioningly. "Why what?" he asked playfully. "Why didn't you tell them...that I left?" "Hmmm..."

Flashback

Sesshomaru lied on his back and watched the rain fall with Kagome by his side. "Your back needs to be bandaged again. We should go soon." A few minutes passed when he felt a small pressure on his chest. He looked down to see Kagome had rested her head in the place just above his heart. "Ah, Kagome-chan, this isn't a good place to sleep-" "Why?" "Well, because it's raining-" "Not that. Why did you call me that?" "What, Kagome-chan? I don't know, has a ring to it. I won't call you that if you don't want me to." She shook her head slightly. "I...like it." she mumbled as her breathing evened out. **She fell asleep... **Sesshomaru smiled as her hand unconsciously gripped his kimono. "Ka-go-me.."

"Who knows why I didn't." "You know." she said exasperatedly. "He didn't explain why because he does not wish to embarrass himself any more than he already has. Honestly, spending time with a half-demon Sesshomaru? You're taste in company has been spoiled. Unless you're going to eat her. In that case, she's a beauty." They turned to see Lord Ikkoku. He bowed respectively but raised his head to meet Kagome's emotionless gaze. He winked as he rose. "Until next time, my dear." Sesshomaru turned to Kagome and held her gaze. "None of that was true. I really enjoy hanging out with you. I don't care if you're a half-demon or full-blooded. I'm glad we're friends." he smiled. "I don't remember agreeing to be friends." she turned and began walking away. "Who knows when I might leave again?" He caught up to her and matched her pace. "As long as you'll always come back." Kagome sped up, hoping he wouldn't see her blushing face. But the laughs ringing out behind her let her know he did.

* * *

"He's laughing..." his mother whispered. "Indeed. I believe she should stay here awhile. Sesshomaru has not laughed or even smiled since he was a baby, and I'm happy to see it." his father stated back. Inukimi nodded. "The other nobles might get upset." "I know." "But you have never been one to follow the rules." he laughed. "I know."


	8. Emptiness

"Where is Sesshomaru? He has weapon training in 10 minutes!" Inukimi shouted, pacing back and forth. Inutaisho laughed, looking out the window. "I think we should let him pass, just this once." Inukimi gazed over his shoulder. "Fine. I guess it cant be helped." she smiled.

* * *

"Kagome-chan, you shouldn't climb that high, especially considering your back just healed!" Sesshomaru shouted, watching as Kagome climbed the tall cherry tree. "There are plenty of cherries down here in the low branches, so come down!" he reasoned. She met his gaze and shook her head, continuing to climb until Sesshomaru couldn't see her through the branches. Suddenly, a juicy cherry bursted on his forehead. "Kagome-" and then she was next to him, her head slightly tilted as she studied him. "Sesshomaru." "Uh, what?" "You were supposed to catch the cherry, not waste it." she sighed as she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to her level. "Hold still." "Wh-what are y-you doing?!" he asked as she lightly licked the remnants of the cherry from his forehead. He fell backwards in surprised. Kagome tilted her head once more and studied him, obviously amused. She reached a red tinted hand down to him and helped him up, though he refused to meet her gaze. "Here, try this." she said, reaching up to the lowest branch and pulling off a cherry. He plopped it into his mouth. "It tastes normal." "Now try this one." she said, handing him one that she had gotten from the top. "It's sweeter...better." he admitted. Kagome smiled at him and nodded. "The cherries at the top have been through much, weathered the cold rain and the blistering sun. They have ripened well during their trials of life. The ones here at the bottom have never known the cruelties of life, and therefore do not taste as good. Reaching for that which seems unreachable, forgoing the cheap mediocrities at the bottom, that is how you will find that for which you long for." she said, walking away. "Like you..." he whispered and smiled, jogging to catch up to her.

* * *

Kagome studied her room for what seemed like the hundredth time. _Could this really be "my" room. Do I belong here? Do I belong anywhere? _She sighed as she sat down on the railing on her balcony. "Kagome." a deep voice sounded behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Lord Inutaisho standing in the darkness of her room. "Kagome, are you okay?" "Am I?" She turned and studied the moon, wondering if it were just as lonely as her. _Lord knows it's just as isolated as I am. _"I have a request of you. Will you stay here, with us?" he asked. Kagome looked back over her shoulder once more, her eyes widening. "But there is a catch..." _I knew it. Too good to be true. _"Isn't there always?" she laughed. "We enjoy your company here. Sesshomaru has become exponentially happier since you've arrived. He actually smiles now." Lord Inutaisho said, running a hand through his white hair. "But the royals...the royals say you don't belong. But they are willing to accept you if you travel to the Forbidden Garden of the Lost Lady and retrieve the rumored black rose...alone. And though it is selfish of me to ask you to accomplish this feat...will you?" Kagome sighed. "How about I just leave? That would be easier." "It wouldn't be easy for you." he said sadly. Kagome jumped from the railing, "Kagome!" Inutaisho yelled as he ran and looked over the balcony. "You do not know what would be easy for me. You do not know what I've seen, done, or been through. So do not assume you know anything." she laughed as she ran to the front gates. She had just walked through the gates when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Kagome-chan, you can't go. You can't..." She roughly swiped his hand off of her shoulder. "I can, and I am. Goodbye." she said angrily. _My heart hurts, though it is not the burning that comes when I need to feed...What is this? _Suddenly his hand was on her shoulder again and being whipped around, her face buried in Sesshomaru's comforting chest. He tightly hugged her as she stood there, not knowing what to do. Kagome closed her eyes and silently breathed in his scent. _Morning dew...citrus... _She raised her arms to embrace him back, but quietly dropped them back to her sides as she pulled away, her gaze cast downward. Sesshomaru slowly pushed Kagome's bangs away from her face and gently kissed her forehead.

Then, she was gone. And the emptiness set in once again.

**Review please!**


	9. Tragic Fate

Weeks turned into months, and months into years, and still Sesshomaru could not get over the hurt he felt that night. The first person he had actually come to value, the first person to make him smile had left, and he felt betrayed. He felt ignorant. **I'm misinterpreting things. I didn't even know her. How could I know her, or anybody else? I've never even gone beyond the Western Lands. **He shook his head in frustration. "I do not want to live this way." he said to himself. "You've finally realized it, huh?" he turned around to see his mother and father smiling sadly at him. "You can not dwell here in the palace walls and ponder why things aren't going your way. You have to travel, see the dark part of this world." his father said. Sessomaru had started walking off when his mother shouted, "Wait, Sessomaru! Do not leave if you do not know why you are going. What are you fighting for?" she demanded. "Not "what." "Who." he whispered without turning around. She smiled and nodded as he ran out of the front gates and to his fate.

* * *

"Fantastic job, Kagome!" Lord Ikkoku boomed. Kagome hid her contempt beneath her emotionless mask as she asked, "Will you release her _now?"_ His laughing ceased as he leaned forward in his throne and grabbed her chin. "You have not finished your job yet, my dear. I want him _dead." _He threw his head back and laughed. "If Sesshomaru, heir to the Western Lands, were dead, his parents would be forever broken. The other nobles would determine them unfit to rule the Western Lands, and I would be able to conquer their land and become more powerful. And you see, if I were the one to kill Sesshomaru, I would be overthrown. That's why I need you." he smiled evilly. Kagome glared at him. "Why aren't you satisfied yet? You used my father to destroy our home village, to injure me, and to get my mother -the only one who could stop him- out of the picture. All because you want _me_ to kill Lord Sesshomaru? Why me?" she spat. "Because, Kagome dear. You are an interesting specimen. A war raging inside of your body, a battle between demon and pure. One day, you'll go insane. And I'm hoping that your killing Sesshomaru will send you into the frenzy I've been awaiting." "I'll do what ever you want, just release her. Now." she pleaded. "Ah ah ahhh. We both know that isn't true. Now, I want you to reappear to Sesshomaru, convince him to come back here to my palace, so I can watch this all unfold. Dismissed." he cooed. Kagome silently walked out of the palace, into the rain. She glanced up into the melancholy sky. _How could this rain refresh something like me?_

* * *

Sesshomaru rested just outside of a trading village, where he had helped kill demons that had plagued them. He sat cleaning his sword when he heard a rustling in the trees behind him. He quickly stood. "Reveal yourself." he demanded. A hooded figured landed agilely in front of him as the breeze ruffled their cloak. "Who are you?" he asked impatiently. Slowly they popped a cherry into their mouth and held another out to him. Sesshomaru's eyes widened. "Kagome-" Suddenly she jumped back as a demon reached for Sesshomaru's throat, knocking his sword away in the process. The demon had him pinned and Sesshomaru was quickly losing consciousness. Then, his eyes started glowing red and his claws lengthened. Just as he was about to strike, the demon was cut in half by the hooded figure. Sesshomaru's eyes reverted back to their curious amber as he studied them through his blurry vision. The figure was still eating cherries, yet they were holding a double-headed katana in their right hand lazily, as if they hadn't just killed a demon. Sesshomaru stood and stared even longer. Suddenly a cherry burst on his forehead, and he smiled. "I was supposed to catch it right, not waste it?" The figure smiled as Sesshomaru walked towards them. He slowly reached out a hand, but the figure took a step back, unsure. "Kagome-chan." Sesshomaru whispered as he pulled her to his chest. This time he was rewarded when the scarred yet strong arms gingerly wrapped around him. He stepped back and smiled even bigger. He quickly reached to pull the hood down when Kagome recoiled. "What's wrong?" he asked as she slowly shook her head side to side. "I need your help..." "Anything." he responded. "Come with me to Lord Ikokku's palace..." _Say no..._ Sesshomaru nodded as Kagome turned to lead the way. _No, what am I doing? I can't do this. But she's there, all alone...I never expected this to happen..._

**Flashback**

**Kagome shakily stood, her back screaming in protest. Her whole village had been slaughtered by her father, and her mother had sacrificed herself to save Kagome. She slowly took one step, and then another, refusing to let the tears spill onto her bloody cheeks. "Where are you going, little half-demon?" a singsong voice sounded. She looked up to see a man with long dark hair and tan skin studying her, amused. "I am Lord Ikkoku, and I can put you out of your misery. I just need help with one little thing..."**

**End Flashback**

_He's a fool. _Kagome sat with her arms folded behind her head, staring up at the stars as the cold wind ruffled her hood. _No, I'm the fool. I allowed myself to become attached. _She glanced over to Sesshomaru who was silently sleeping in a low branch, just above their fire. She smiled and retuned her gaze to the dark sky. _It would be ignorant to say that I had grown accustomed to my temporary surroundings: the royal kimonos, marble floors, royal blue walls. No, I had become severly attached to this one entity, this demon. And I was being forced to sever this attachment myself. _She shook her head and sat up, her smile receding into the shadows once more. Gently she touched her face, something she wished to keep hidden from the only one she had been able to call "friend."

"Kagome?" his voice called, worry outlining his features. Her hand dropped from her face and she turned towards him. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "Just cold." Sesshomaru seemed to give up on the subject then, but then he was sitting down next to her, pulling her into his lap. "Wh-what are you doing?" she blushed, though he couldn't see it because of the hood. "You said you were cold." he replied innocently, glancing away as he to blushed. _I didn't mean my body, I meant my soul..._ Kagome contemplated moving for a minute before she nestled into his chest and began slipping away. Sesshomaru could slowly feel her relax into him, and he too began to relax. He rested his chin on her head. **This is unreal. She's back, in my arms so suddenly. How? Why? This can't be a coincidence, she had been armed, and she was purposefully in that tree, waiting- **Kagome unconsciously gripped his kimono, and he smiled as he gently wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep. **I guess it isn't so bad...**

* * *

Kagome and Sesshomaru had arrived at the palace gates, and had just entered when they quickly shut behind them. Kagome slowly led him to where Lord Ikkoku sat, waiting. Ikkoku stood and spread his arms wide. "Welcome, Lord Sesshomaru! Welcome, to my humble abode." he smiled evilly. "What's going on?" Sesshomaru asked, confused. "Let's give a big round of applause to our beautiful actress Kagome. Let's hear it!" He laughed as his lone clap echoed through the room. "Actress..?" he asked, looking over to Kagome incredulously, who's head was bowed. "You see, Lord Sesshomaru, Kagome here has gained your trust and brought you here for a special night." "Special night?" "Indeed. And YOU are the main event."


	10. Black Rose

_I don't want this anymore. I don't- _Sesshmaru laughed mischievously. "I'll try my best" Lord Ikkoku grinned. "Very well then, Lord Sesshomaru. Kagome-" _Please, don't say it..._ "Kill him!"

Kagome unstrapped her katana from her back and spun it around. Sesshomaru unsheathed his sword and readied himself. "Kagome-chan-" she shook her head slowly, cutting him off. _I don't want to hear what he has to say. I want to get this over with...I'll make it quick. _She charged at him swiftly, their blades coming together with a loud clang. "Kill him!" Ikkoku giggled. Kagome jumped and landed behind Sesshomaru, preparing to stab him through the heart. "Do not turn your back on your opponent, Lord Sesshomaru!" he laughed maniacally again. After what seemed like hours of fighting, but had to only have been minutes, Kagome had knocked Sesshomaru's sword away and he lay on the ground covered in cuts. Kagome huffed as she stood about 20 feet away, studying him. "You're taking too long. Finish him!" _She would not be happy if she knew I had sacrificed another life for hers. Who am I to weigh the life of one person to anothers? _"To hell with it, I'll do it!" Ikkoku shouted. Everything seemed to slow down as Sesshomaru started changing into his demon form and as Ikkoku grabbed a sword. _He's not changing fast enough, he'll be killed- _Ikkoku threw the sword at a vulnerable Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru's eyes widened as the blade approached him, and he knew he could not deflect it in his in-between state. He slowly closed is eyes, awaiting the sharp pain. But it never came. Everything was silent, except for a constant dripping noise. Sesshomaru's eyes flew open. He gasped. "Ka..gome.." he whispered, shocked.

She looked over her shoulder and smiled, the large sword protruding from her back and her crimson blood staining the floor and the cloak she was wearing. "I'm sorry." she whispered, blood trickling from her mouth. "I...I didn't want to hurt you." Sesshomaru caught her as she collapsed. Slowly he pushed her hood back, revealing a long scar running from above her right eye to the bottom of her left cheek. "I...just wanted to..to see you smile-" she choked on blood. "Shhh Kagome-chan, save your breath. I'll get you help-" "No time...Sesshomaru. I was hap..py when you found me that day..." Kagome took a shaky breath. "Not because I-I wanted to..kill you. But because I-I didn't feel..so alone." He smiled. "I was happy too. I had finally found someone who understood me." he admitted, brushing her long hair away from her face. "I like it...when you smile like that. Hey...don't waste..the cherries." she smiled one last time, reaching a shaky hand up. Sesshomaru glanced at her hand, and in it was a black rose. "I've had this for...awhile now. Never dies..You know..the Lost Lady wasn't lost at all...just lonely." she choked once more, as her blood ran slower and slower.

"Kagome you have to hold on. I don't care where you go, or where you have been, as long as you come back!" Sesshomaru gently laid her down and turned towards Ikkoku. "You _dared_ lay a finger on her? Why? And why would she do all of this?" he demanded angrily. Ikkoku looked on, bemused. He began picking at his fingers, unfazed by the woman dying in his palace. "Well, I had to take something pretty valuable for her to agree to kill you. And when she had lost her resolve momentarily, I taught her lesson." "What did you take?" "Did you know," Ikkoku leaned forward, as if wanting to share a joke between old friends. "That Kagome has a twin?"


	11. Rin

"Twin?" Sesshomaru asked incredulously. Ikkoku sat back, and crossed his legs. "Indeed. But you see, they are nothing alike." he crossed his legs and tapped his chin with one long finger. "Very disappointing, really. However, keeping her as a trophy isn't too bad either." he smiled. "I can't allow you to keep hurting Kagome. If she has gone this far for her sister, then I shall end it here." "'Keep hurting Kagome," you say? Well, as I see it, she won't be hurting much longer." "Draw your sword!" Sesshomaru shouted, suppressing his demon side. Ikkoku had made it as personal as possible, so he wanted to finish it in the form Kagome had come to know. "I _would_ draw my sword," he pointed at Kagome, lying on the ground in a giant puddle of blood, "but it seems that my sword is lodged in your dear friends body." Ikkoku threw his head back and laughed, but quickly grew silent, the devilish smile still lingering on his face. "But, if you insist..." and then he was next to Kagome, grabbing the hilt of the sword as Sesshomaru lunged forward. Ikkoku harshly ripped the sword from her chest as a piercing scream filled the air. Sesshomaru stopped as the smile faded from Ikkoku's face. "How did you escape...?" he whispered. Sesshomaru turned around and gasped.

"Kagome?" The woman standing a few feet away looked exactly like the woman he had come to know, the only person who understood him. Yet she was different. The look in her eyes, the pure fear, the pure rage, warring inside of them as her hands quivered as she covered her mouth. "How could you...How _COULD _you?!" Tears spilled down her face as her rage outweighed her fear. The woman stepped forward and stared at Ikkoku intently. "We had a deal!" she screamed. "I agreed to help you, in exchange for Kagome's life. And you _killed_ her!" she spat. Lord Ikkoku stepped forward, the sword he had pulled from Kagome's body dropping to the ground. "Rin-" **Rin? **"No!" she covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear your excuse. All this time you've been lying, and I thought, I thought-" "I do love you." he pleaded. **He's reasoning with her?! **"You killed her!" she screamed. And then, everything exploded.

* * *

Sesshomaru sat up, pulling the rest of the remnants of the ceiling off of himself. He surveyed what was left of the room they were in as Ikkoku rose from the rubble as well. "Rin. Rin!" he called as he saw her cradling Kagome. Rin slowly pushed Kagome's hair away from her face as she smiled sadly. Tears silently fell onto Kagome's cheek as Rin started humming to her."You've been doing all of this for me as well." She buried her face in Kagome's chest, but her body was limp. Suddenly, she threw her head back and weeped, loud, body-wracking cries that made Sesshomaru's heart ache. "You're crying for both of you, aren't you?" he asked, mostly to himself. Yet Rin studied him, and then she smiled at him and nodded slightly. "She never cries, she never has. But if I don't cry for her, who will?" And then the rain began falling, and the thunder boomed, and with each passing moment Sesshomaru felt something building inside of him, until it broke. A tear silently mixed with the rain, as it washed away the blood that lingered on his body and the floor. He threw his head back. "The rain _is _refreshing..."

* * *

Hours passed, and the rain had stopped falling, yet no one had moved an inch. Rin finally raised her head and looked at Sesshomaru, her gaze intense and determined. **Just like Kagome's...** "I'm going to do it...I'm going to save her." she said quietly. "No!" Ikkoku protested. "You'll disappear!" she nodded. "I do not care. She has gone through so much for me. I was just held captive, in a beautiful palace, with servants and cooks...it's not fair. She never got to live a life. She's been living, just with the thought of me in mind, and I don't want that." she glanced up at Sesshomaru again and smiled, her face seemed exhausted. "I could sense it, you know, How suddenly happy Kagome had become in the days she spent with you, the emptiness she felt when away. I'm happy that she got to meet you. I'm happy she had you, when she didn't have anyone." "It was more like I had her. She kept me sane, made me feel...happy. I wasn't so alone." he admitted. Rin closed her eyes. "Come, Lord Sesshomaru." "What?" "Rin, please, no!" Ikkoku pleaded, falling to his knees. Sesshomaru knelt beside them. Rin held Kagome up a little higher as she gave Sesshomaru a kind look. "She needs blood...would you mind? Sesshomaru nodded as he cut a small slit in his throat, the same place Kagome had bitten him 3 years before. He bent down to her mouth, which was tinted with her own blood. Slowly her fangs latched onto his neck, and the light feeling he had felt before returned. Rin smiled as she started glowing a faint purple and her expression grew peaceful. She exhaled deeply as Kagome started choking.

A bright light enveloped everything, and when Sesshomaru opened them again, Kagome was gone.


	12. Memory

"Lord Sesshomaru." Ikkoku's gruff voice sounded behind him. Sesshomaru turned, his face an emotionless mask as he looked down at Ikkoku, who was on his knees. "I...I'm sorry. For everything." he shook his head and continued. "I don't know why I did what I did, and why I did all of this to you. I was angry, and alone. I wanted someone else to feel my pain, and you were the easiest target. The heir to the Western Lands was a mere child, one who could be easily manipulated. I wanted you to experience how it felt to have your heart utterly filled with warmth, and then plunged into the dark yet again. Kagome was perfect for it. Abandoned, injured, and alone. I didn't want to bring many people into this, and I thought using a half-demon wouldn't be doing much harm, until I saw _her._ Shivering, frightened, unscathed from the destruction I had convinced their father to create. I had forgotten in an instant everything that had caused me to hurt. But as I walked towards her, she flinched, and my anger flooded back. I grabbed her and she screamed. Then, a girl who looked exactly like her, yet different in every way stumbled in front of me, blocking my path. "Let her go." She said calmly. But I could tell, I could see it in her eyes how determined she was, how willing she was to lay down her life for her sister, her twin. Instantly I had this plan to use her against you, and in return I wouldn't harm her twin, Rin. But my plan went horribly wrong. I had begun to fall in love with Rin, and Kagome had actually begun to grow close to you. I thought about abandoning the whole thing, but my anger still festered within me, and you were its release. So in a last ditch effort, I ordered Kagome to bring you here to kill you. When she initially refused, I cut her across the face, telling her that the scar that would be left when it healed would forever be a reminder of the deeds she had committed. I told her that she had already betrayed your trust and that there was no way for her to return to you. And the look in her eyes...I could not say that it was the innocence fleeing from them, no, I do not believe she ever had innocence. It was more like...life. Her only hope fading, the life in her eyes dying. I was..am horrible. I lost the only one who kept me company, and I have forever torn the Heir to the Western Lands and his only friend apart. Can you...can you ever forgive me?" Ikkoku stared deeply into Sesshomaru's blank eyes, pleading. "You are a royal. Stand. You look pitiful." he stated simply, as he turned and walked out of the gates.

* * *

"Welcome home Sesshomaru-sama!" the castle guards bowed as he silently marched through the gates into his home. "Sesshomaru!" his mother yelled as she ran and hugged him. He stood motionless as she embraced him tightly, his father caught up and stopped a few feet away, noticing something was wrong. Sesshomaru met his father's worried, yet silent gaze with his own emotionless one. The smile melted from Inutaisho's face. Ikukimi pulled away and held Sesshomaru at arm's length, worry evident on her porcelain face as well. "Sesshomaru?" He pulled away, his long hair covering his eyes as he bowed his head. "Hello, Mother. Father." he nodded and tried to pass them. "Son?" his father asked, grabbing him by the shoulder. "She's gone." he said over his shoulder, as he continued walking. **It's true. She ****_is_**** gone. She died protecting ****_me. _****This was her chance to get her sister back, and she threw herself in front of a sword to protect me.**

Sesshomaru sat shirtless in the lone cherry tree, his white hair billowing on the gentle breeze. The full moon shined on the precious item he held in his hand, the last part of Kagome he could cling to. _"I've had it for awhile...you know..the Lost Lady wasn't lost...just...lonely."_ **I keep replaying this in my mind...Her voice, sweet, even to her last moment. She didn't want to worry me, she had wanted to see me smile...but...how can I smile when she's gone?! **He punched the tree repeatedly, his knuckles beginning to bleed. He tried catching his breath, but he found no point in breathing if Kagome weren't there to enjoy the scent of the cherries with him. **I'll keep going. Make these lands better for humans, demons, and half-demons alike. Maybe then...maybe then I would be worthy to keep Kagome's memory with me. Maybe then, my heart can be free...**


	13. Forest

5 Years Later...

"Lord Sesshomaru, a small group of demons have been attacking a villages in the Western Lands. What shall we do?" Sesshomaru glanced up from the stacks of documents he was to finish. "I'll go handle it myself." "Are you sure, milord?" Sesshomaru stood and nodded. He needed some time away, some time to take a breath. "I'll be leaving, Kaoru, Hikaru." he nodded to the twin guards. "I expect everything to be just as it was upon my return. "Yes sir!"

* * *

Sesshomaru stood in a large meadow, where a small group of demons watched him, licking their lips. "I have asked you multiple times to stop your attacks on the villages in my land. Now, I must take drastic measures." he stated emotionlessly as his eyes grew red and his claws sharpened. Sesshomaru loved this form, he was powerful, not limited by his human appearance. He could run faster, jump higher, and nothing was expected of him in this form. Sesshomaru shook the blood from his claws and decided he wanted more time in his large, wolf-like form.

He ran for miles, losing track of time and his thoughts. Night had fallen, and he wasn't quite sure where he ended up. He lied down in a large clearing, at the edge of which was a dense forest. It didn't scare him, not really, but the sight of it unnerved him. He gazed into it, but even his demonic eyesight could not penetrate the darkness. He whined.** What's wrong with me? **He stood and began pacing, his paws crushing the small flowers that dared to grow near the dark place. Slowly he walked towards the forest, pushing through the first few trees. But the forest was unnaturally quiet, throwing him off even more. Suddenly, he heard giggling and a white flash passed quickly beside him before he could focus in on it. He pushed on, the giggling growing louder. And then suddenly it stopped. Everything was quiet, nothing moved except for the rise and fall of Seshomaru's panting chest. His tongue lolled from his mouth as he lifted his nose to the air, searching for a scent. "_No.." _a hushed whisper echoed through the trees. _"Turn back..." _the echoes mixed, becoming one loud murmur as Sesshomaru started sprinting through the forest. The same white flash passed multiple times, but never stayed long enough for him to focus in on what it was. _"All your...fault.." "You didn't help me..." "LEAVE!" _the echoes became louder, and his heartbeat pounded harder.

Then they were gone, and he came across a large patch of thorns, seemingly impenetrable. _"No..."_ one sad whisper was all that sounded as a warm breeze ruffled Sesshomaru's fur. **It feels...lonely.** He pushed through, the thorns cutting him everywhere. He had made it through when he saw it, a small, pulsing ball of energy surrounded by thorns and...**Black roses?** Slowly he stooped down and sniffed the orb. Then suddenly a pale hand reached out of it and rested on his nose. Sesshomaru reeled back. He felt himself growing smaller, returning back to his human form. His clothes were tattered and his skin covered in cuts, but he didn't care. **What is this? Who..."** The hand disappeared back into the orb, so Sesshomaru rested his palm against it. "It's cold...you're cold." he whispered as the hand appeared again, this time the fingers entwining with his. Slowly, he pulled the hand and a person started forming. First, an arm, then a shoulder. Then-

"Kagome?"


	14. Restless

**This isn't possible. She's standing here in front of me, after 5 years...** Kagome looked up and smiled, her nude body now completely devoid of scars. **She looks like a porcelain doll.** "Sesshomaru." her smile got even wider as tears streamed down her face. Sesshomaru pulled away. "You are not Kagome."

The smile instantly faded from her face and her eyes grew dark. "How did you know?" He shook his head. "Kagome would be angry if she had been waiting this long, she's always been impatient. She doesn't cry either. Never has...never will." "Hmmmmm, do you not wish for me to assume this form then?" she asked. "No, I don't." "Then, how about this one?" she purred as her body transformed, Kagome's features disappearing. Short, red hair replaced the black and her skin became tanner. Her eyes now gleamed a mischievous green and a smile spread across her face. "Better?" "No. Who are you?" he asked emotionlessly, the excitement of possibly seeing Kagome once again quickly receding. "Hmmm, you've never heard of me? This is saddening, for both of us." she said, turning around. "I demand to know who you are!" he shouted, losing his patience. "Temper, temper, Lord Sesshomaru." she giggled. "Show me your true form." She stopped instantly once more, looking at him from over her shoulder. "I have only revealed myself to one person. One person whose intentions were pure, who did not wish to seek me out for another tale to tell their friends or to take me back and sell as a slave. One person..." she tightly hugged herself as her voice faded off. Then she smiled sadly. "One person who saw me for me immediately. Whose story was even more sad than mine, yet reached out to me anyway. A story of loss, gain, and loss once more. Yes, one person. One person who also reached through the darkness into your heart as well." Their gazes met once more as Sesshomaru whispered, "Kagome." The woman nodded. "You are the Lost Lady." Once more she nodded. "This forest is full of restless spirits whose lives were taken unexpectedly, whose love was taken or forbidden, like mine. When someone enters my forest, they become angry of the dark intentions people who travel here have. These restless souls are able to look into the heart of travelers and figure out their intentions, as well as their worst fears. If deemed unworthy of visiting me, which most are, the spirits take the form of their worst fears in order to frighten them away." "How was I able to make it through?" Sesshomaru asked. "You are a strange case, Lord Sesshomaru. You had no intentions whatsoever. None to harm, nor to gain. I asked the spirits to allow you passage because I could feel it, the similarity between yours and Kagome's souls. I wanted to meet you, to see why Kagome had come for a black rose. And I see it now." she smiled once more. "Yours is a truly sad story." Sesshomaru nodded and turned to leave. "Lord Sesshomaru. Think for a moment before you return to your palace. You may not have a chance like this again." he turned, confused as to what she was saying. "I _did _say restless souls that had love taken from them resided here, didn't I? You'd be foolish if you didn't realize just how much she cared for you." Sesshomaru's eyes widened as his gaze shifted to the ground. "Lord Sesshomaru, I'll make you a deal. You drop your mask, and I'll drop mine. Show you my true form. Share with me your true feelings for Kagome, I wish to know what love feels like once more. Mine is gone..." Sesshomaru thought for a moment and then nodded. He sat down on the ground and crossed his legs, the tattered remains of his kimono blowing gently in the wind.

"I had met her on a boring day, during my boring childhood. A complete normal day that changed my life forever. There she was, bleeding, right in front of my eyes, yet she wasn't asking for help or pleading for death. She was willing to accept any fate handed to her with poise, and that piqued my interests. We had grown close extremely fast, yet she still seemed distant, though I couldn't tell why. But upon reaching Lord Ikkoku's castle, I was told that she had been faking the whole time. That she had never truly cared for me. But she saved my life. And as she lay dying in my arms she assured me that she never truly wanted to hurt me. She handed me the black rose and..." "You didn't believe that, did you?" she asked quietly. Her attention was completely turned towards Seshomaru's confession. Sesshomaru was quiet. "I don't know..." The Lost Lady shot up from her seat in front of Sesshomaru and balled her fists by her sides. "Why would she have come here if she hadn't wanted to get the rose, so she could possibly return to your side?! Are you a fool? Kagome couldn't possibly tell you all of this, sharing feelings was hard for her! You noticed that, didn't you? Didn't you-" "Even though I had doubts, I still loved her. And I still do, even now..." he faded off. The Lost Lady stood there silently as her arms relaxed back down to her sides. She smiled softly. "Lord Sesshomaru, I have one more proposition for you." He slowly looked up again at her understanding expression. "I am a keeper of lost souls, though I am one myself. I can not just give spirits back to the physical world. However, maybe I could, just this once.." Sesshomaru stood up quickly. "But that would mean..." "Her physical body still resides here, healed by her twin. Yet her soul dwells in my forest. Find her soul and bring it here," she gestured to the glowing orb she herself at come from. "and she will be returned to you. That's the best I can do." Sesshomaru nodded as she started walking away. "Wait," he called. "what about your end of the deal?" She smirked at him. Then, she was changing. Her body, manner, and expression rapidly changing between male and female, happy and sad. "I am the embodiment of those who have come and gone through this forest. That is all you need to know." Kagome's face flashed through the montage of faces before the Lost Lady disappeared in a flash of light.

**Just wait a little longer, Kagome. I ****_will _****find you. And this time, I'm not letting you go.**


	15. Reflection

Sesshomaru ran through the forest blindly, the thick branches and fallen trees cutting his skin even more. "Kagome, where are you?!" he shouted. "Will you find her?" "It's futile..." "Try harder!" the souls of the restless flashed by and their voices echoed all around. "Sessho..." a lone voice called. "Kagome?" He was quickly becoming exhausted. His head throbbing, his breath labored, his heart pounding. He collapsed next to a calm river that ran through the forest, a calm oasis from his frenzied search. He gazed up at the moon as he rolled over onto his scraped back. "I remember you loved looking up at the stars and the moon. When you would disappear in the middle of the night, I would find you staring up at them with a forlorn expression on your face. Then you'd catch me watching you and you'd smile softly, welcomingly. I never understood your attachment to the moon or the stars. But then again, I never understood your attachment to me." he shook his head. "Am I deluding myself into thinking you felt attachment to me?" he smirked. "Not deluded..." a quiet voice said nearby. He sat straight up. "Kagome? Where are you?" "Closer than...you might think." he could hear the smile in her voice. "Where are you?" he demanded. "Against the rules...to tell..." "Kagome, stop playing around!" he yelled impatiently. A silence passed for a few moments. "Kagome, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry-" "No! Not...angry...I fade when..I use too..much energy.." "Fade?" "A sort of...slumber...that lasts...indefinitely." He relaxed a little. "Kagome...there are so many things I wish to tell you...I regret not saying anything. I took you for granted, believing that you would always be by my side...But I wish to find you, so I can return you-" he stopped midsentence. **Would she be offended if I said, "Return you to me...?" **"To you?" she asked, the smile returning in her voice. "I never left..." Blood dripped down Sesshomaru's cheek. "Wash that...off..." she demanded, and he smiled. He leaned over the water's edge to see his reflection, but it was not there. In its place was Kagome's face instead, smirking at him. "Idiot..." And then her face dissipated, and his reflection returned. **Closer than I think...**

* * *

Sesshomaru sprinted through the forest once more, until he came upon the patch of dense thorns and the glowing orb once more. "You've always been cunning...but now you're just being difficult." he smiled tenderly as he pulled the black rose Kagome had given him from its special place in his kimono. He gently cradled it in his bleeding fingers and raised it to his lips, gingerly kissing it. Suddenly, he tossed it into the glowing orb. It began to change colors, a crimson red, a jade green; everything seemed to explode in light. Sesshomaru covered his eyes as the forest itself was illuminated.

He uncovered his eyes slowly and raised his head. "Sesshomaru." a wavy voice said. He looked up. "What took you so long?" she demanded. He silently gasped, taking in her now long white hair, one bright blue eye, and one unearthly purple one. Her emotionless mask faltered as her lip quivered. "You took too long, Sesshomaru." her voice continued wavering as a lone, silent tear streamed down her face. She swiped at it angrily as she continued. "I've been waiting so long." Sesshomaru slowly smiled. "Kagome-chan." he gently pushed her white hair from her face. "I'm sorry." She looked at him defensively. "Idiot."


	16. Black Blood

"Idiot, indeed." a voice sounded from the trees. Sesshomaru pushed Kagome behind him defensively. "Who's there?" he demanded. The man landed in front of them clumsily and slowly stood to his full height, though somehow he seemed crooked. "Ikkoku." Sesshomaru spat. "I must erase it. I must." Ikkoku giggled as he advanced on them. "Erase what?" Sesshomaru's eyes gained a reddish tint as he tried to suppress his demonic side. "My sin! I must erase my sin. You are my sin. Allowing you to continue to live on. I was not successful in gaining the Western Lands, so I must erase my sin. Erase first you, then myself." he laughed maniacally as he pulled the same sword he had stabbed Kagome with out of its sheathe. "Let's go, Kagome." Sesshomaru said quietly, grabbing her small wrist as they started running. He realized she was trailing behind and couldn't seem to catch her breath. They stopped in a clearing, Ikkoku seemingly giving up on the chase. "Kagome?" he gently touched her cheek. "You're freezing..." She fell to her knees and shook her head as she grasped at her chest. "No...burning..." she panted. "Blood." he quickly slit a small cut in the scar left from the last time she had fed from him. "Here." he prompted, yet she shook her head furiously. "No...no." she refused, yet her fangs jutted into her bottom lip. She shakily stood. "You need the strength, Kagome." he reasoned once more. Her eyes pleaded with him. "I'm tired of hurting you." she whispered. Sesshomaru suddenly pulled her into his chest. He could feel her heart beating rapidly, and could feel her breathing quickly, and he knew it wouldn't be long before both her heart and lungs gave up from exhaustion. "How cute." Ikkoku giggled, suddenly reappearing behind them. He raised his sword swiftly. "My sins...shall be erased!" he laughed like a madman and swung his sword at Kagome. Time seemed to slow as he threw her out of the way and tried to deflect the sword. But then, everything was painted red.

* * *

**I hear screaming...no, laughing...no, a heart beat...Where am I? Where is Kagome? I cannot lose her, I just got her back...this can't be happening...no. No. **Sesshomaru slowly opened his heavy eyelids, yet everything was blurring. His vision blurred in and out of focus, and he could hardly make out some sort of struggle going on between Ikkoku and Kagome, but he was helpless to do anything. He tried raising his hand. **I'm cold...** He stared at his hand, stained in blood. _His _blood. And Kagome was next. "Hold on Sesshomaru, I'll get you help!" she pleaded. **She's worrying about me...when she's about to die herself. Why...why? **Suddenly Kagome was behind Ikkoku, who was swinging his blade madly. She grabbed his long braid and wrenched his head back aggressively. Her fangs elongated and her unearthly purple eye began glowing mysteriously. She sank her fangs angrily into his throat and drank the black blood that coursed through his body. "My sin..." he whispered helplessly as he grew weaker. Kagome opened her eyes, not removing her mouth from his neck. She gazed at Sesshomaru as a lone tear silently ran down her cheek. He could tell what she was thinking. "Please don't watch." But he couldn't remove his eyes from her. She squeezed them shut and ferociously ripped through Ikkoku's throat. Sesshomaru's eyes widened. And then, he passed out.


	17. Forever

**Am I dead? Is ****_this _****what death feels like? A peaceful darkness that my soul will rest in for eternity? But it's lonely, all I have is my thoughts to keep me compa-**

"Sessho...?" **Someone's calling me? **Sesshomaru-sama. Wake up already. You're being a little overdramatic, don't you think?" Sesshomaru bolted upright in his bed, wanting to know who had accused him of being "overdramatic." **My bed? **He surveyed the room and realized who had been speaking to him. "Rin?!" he groaned and glanced down at the gaping wound that zigzagged from his left shoulder down to his right hip. "How are you here. Where did you come from?" he asked, the pain clouding his speech. "I'm glad you are awake." she smiled and placed a hand over his. "Take good care of her." Then she was gone. He jumped out of bed and then quickly regretted it. "Damn." he grunted, rubbing at his shoulder. He opened his door quietly and stealthily made his way down the hallway. "What the hell's going on?" he muttered to himself. "Sesshomaru-sama, you should not be out of bed!" Hikaru and Kaoru marched towards him in unison, a disappointing look on their faces. "I don't know who gave you the orders to look at me like that, but you might want to adjust it." he ordered. They smiled devilishly. "We must get you back to bed immediately," Hikaru began. "before Kagome-san gets angry." "What?" "Frankly, Sesshomaru-sama," "She scares us more than you!" Sesshomaru smiled softly. The twin guards froze. "Sesshomaru-sama is smiling." they whispered. "Sesshomaru-sama is smiling!" They shouted gleefully. Cheering could be heard throughout the castle as more servants began to pass it along. "Silence." Sesshomaru demanded, embarrassed. "A door slowly creaked open down the hall. Kagome appeared, rubbing her eyes sleepily, her long white hair dangling messily around her knees. "Sesshomaru...you smiled..without me?" she asked innocently, sleepiness still lacing her voice. "She's so cute!" Hikaru and Kaoru cheered together. "Shutup." Sesshomaru mumbled. Kagome walked over to them and lazily swiped her bangs from her eyes, though they fluttered straight back to their original position. "Hikaru, Kaoru?" "Yes?" they answered together. She gazed at them and gave them a big smile. "If you _ever_ wake up again, I will _personally _rip off your fingernails one by one and feed them to you, while you sit naked in the middle of the courtyard for everyone to watch your humiliation." she giggled evilly. They stared openmouthed at her and Sesshomaru laughed. They turned and ran, yelling "Sesshomaru-sama is laughing!"

Kagome turned back around to face Sesshomaru, the smile disappearing from her face. "You've been asleep for a long time, Sesshomaru." she said defensively. "I was worried." He pushed her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry." he whispered as he brought his face closer to hers. "I know how much you hate waiting...So do I." he smiled as he pressed his lips to her soft ones. He pulled away for one second. "I love you, Ka-go-me." He kissed her once more. "Prove it." she teased. "Give me the rest of our lives to prove it." he requested. She gazed up at him, her one blue and one purple eye shining brightly. She smiled and nodded.

* * *

"Be prepared for me to shower you in kisses." he whispered as they lie in the dark. Thunder rolled in the distance. "I've always loved the rain..."


End file.
